Detlev Six
Saturday January 9th, 2016

Teaching Refugees Rules

Many refugees come from anti-democratic or culture-racist countries. After their arrival, they meet mirror images like Pegida & Co, who are happy to take advantage of this great opportunity to inflate the balloon. In addition, we have refugees who have no ideological prejudices against our society. They mostly come because of the money. Taken together, they do not constitute what Bill Clinton called the requirement for a functioning society: “Those who work hard and play by the rules“. Well, they cannot be, can they? So maybe we should make them.

We should stop talking about human rights, human dignity, freedom, the rule of law, minority protection, equality, equal opportunities, pluralism, morals, ethics or, even worse, angrily advertised western values. The one thing that makes our society a success is the coexistence of humans where nobody’s hands are between the legs of other persons without invitation and where economic success comes because of a shared wish for progress. From all our great values, we can deduce clear rules. Nobody needs to have studied philosophy for 20 semesters in order to know them. Let us start:

Rule #1: Learning German.
Rule #2: Keep your hands away from between a lady’s legs unless explicitly invited.
And, and, and.

Attending a school where those rules are taught is obligatory for all refugees, they have to graduate and the final test results have a huge influence on whether they can stay in the country or not.

I know what you are going to say: We have all those things! But how scattered? Is anybody responsible for this school? Do we have enough money and teachers? For years, the CSU has opposed an immigration law, arguing that the laws are all there – somehow and somewhere. Well, I have some news for you, ladies and gentlemen. There is a difference between a mass of colourful gunk distributed over zillions of institutions or one institution, such as an immigration ministry with one suitable package of legislation.

What makes everything such a disaster is that we have no clear, reliable responsibilities. This is true both for institutions and persons.

Incidentally, I would also send those to the schools of rules who for years abused the Regensburger Domspatzen (Have you noticed? In the daily news, you always get another news item in between the report about Cologne and the Domspatzen. It seems like they wish to make it look less obvious that, in our high-moral Germany, we also have many testosterone criminals. I guess it is better not to ask about all the undesired things that still happen in some marriages today).

One problem would immediately be solved by introducing these schools of rules. The persons would have a task, a goal by the reaching of which they actually could improve their own perspective. And even if it sounds banal: they would have something to do.

SIX
(Translated by EG)

Is there a Big-Bang Hungarian?

Reply by a Hungarian who believes in it:
Sure, we have always been here.

Yet Hungarians only immigrated to the area of today’s Hungary around 900 years ago.

Nonsense, we have always been here!

Only around 1900, the ratio of Hungarians was increased from von 45% to 55% by forced Magyarising.

Lying blog.

I have this information from Wikipedia.

Lying Wikipedia.

Honest newspapers, too, write it.

Lying media.

Scientific proof is fairly convincing.

Lying science.

The same discussion is easily imaginable with a Kaczynski Pole, a Le-Pen Frenchman or a Pegida German.

The belief in right-wing concepts is based on a pure national blood community, rather than a modern will-oriented society.

As opposed to God and Particles of God (see my post Neues von Gott und dem großen Bumser), who you can neither prove nor disprove – which makes them part of the unsolvable last truths – questions of national purity are about short-lived truths. They can be either proved or disproved.

So maybe information desks in Hungary, Poland and Dresden are the solution?

Well, perhaps not.

Or with the philosopher Dieter Bohlen:
“The problem is: how to tell a mentally retarded person that he is mentally retarded?“

SIX
(Translated by EG)

Hans Bonfigt
Thursday December 31st, 2015

(Deutsch) Bertrand Russell und das Internet 5.0

Sorry, this entry is only available in German.

There is a constant flow of new legislation. From the EU, the Federal Government, the State. They have become a flood. Many of them do not seem to make sense at all. More often than not, you cannot see what effect exactly they are supposed to have or why they have been passed. Neither is it clear why you should actually abide by them.

Simultaneously, courts of law come up with sentences. For instance one week ago on safe harbor. This may well be a good idea in some way, yet there is no direct positive effect. Because it simply is not practicable.

And it has almost been forgotten already, regardless of the great ado that has been made about it not too long ago. Consequently, I am sure that, soon, nobody will be interested at all to hear what the “safe harbour judgement” was all about. And why should anybody? You want to bet?

One might start assuming that people in this country will take laws less and less seriously in the future, which would mean there is an end to our constitutional democracy. Which, indeed, might be a huge threat to our democracy.

I do not happen to share this fear. To be sure, as I perceive it, law and order are no longer taken as seriously as they used to be. But it seems to me that this is only true for all those many administrative regulations.

Let me call it the “extrinsic morals“ as given from the outside. And that is something that gets more and more absurd, which means you actually cannot really take it seriously.

To make up for it, it seems to me that the “intrinsic morals” develop more and more into something most people agree upon. It is about what you do and what you do not do, which I find rather appealing.

Said intrinsic morals come from inside a person, regardless of the nonsense the legislative and judicative conveyor belts of the EU, as well as its countries and states pour over us.

I do not wish to sound the warning bells that letting the “extrinsic morals” dwindle might threaten our constitutional democracy. After all, the “intrinsic morals” might actually be more important for survival than the “extrinsic morals”.

We saw quite frequently that countries with rule of justice toppled and became rules of injustice, yet they were all based on “justice”. Just like the Third Reich, too, made laws and installed courts of law that brutally executed the verdicts. Which means that this unholy system actually was based on law and order, except that the assumptions it was based on were truly something to give me pause.

RMD
(Translated by EG)

Klaus Hnilica
Thursday October 8th, 2015

We can do it! Or: Blessed Be Those Who Have No Idea

Carl and Gerlinde (XLV)

There were days when Carl, even during the phase of waking up when Gerlinde’s elven-like blabbering actually made his basilar membranes vibrate but his eye-lids had not yet moved upward, knew that something unpleasant was going to happen…+

ZZZZSimg211Accordingly, the facial expression he offered Gerlinde and which was mirrored one-on-one in her face – if, these days, it was possible at all to see anything of her face in between those extremely obtrusive illustrations in the ’Frankfurter Allgemeine’ – while he was eating his breakfast egg, naturally, looked a little strained.

Carl noticed how reliable his gut feeling had been when, at long last, his secretary Bettina offered him his usual cup of coffee in the office. Because her meaningfully pursed lips, wide-open eyes and several attempts at moving the cup of coffee closer towards him were certainly no good omens.

When she proceeded by telling him that Dr. Osterkorn had asked everybody to a meeting at ten thirty in the big conference room – no documents to prepare – it was absolutely clear that his sinister foreboding would, again, prove correct …

The only surprise was that, on top of Bernie alias Dr. Osterkorn and a number of new and unknown faces, not only the other three sector heads, but also both TRIGA managing directors were present.

Apparently, Dr. Schäufele, the head of trading, was in charge of the meeting, since he had placed himself with a rather crumpled face and among constant whispering with his colleague Dr. Tuchweber at the head of the huge conference table.

In accordance with the sober atmosphere, Carl unobtrusively sat down next to Miriam Braun on the only vacant seat.

Dr. Schäufele was immediately in the middle of things! After greetings by the concern heads from Düsseldorf he read in a rather pronounced way, reminding everybody of the gigantic national task that, due to the dramatic change in the German political situation, we were now facing without once looking up from his text. He also said that the concern heads were going to approach this task with a huge amount of respect and responsibility.

It went without saying that, in the face of this unparalleled challenge, the TRIGA company, too, would – this was the first time Dr. Schäufele actually looked up from his manuscript – contribute to the best of its ability!

This was especially important, Dr. Schäufele continued, since our Federal Chancellor had given a clear signal with her “We Can Do This”! In her inimitable way, without getting lost in details, she not only invited every state in Germany, every community and every town, but also every individual citizen to cordially welcome all the refugees from Syria. Everybody is called upon to make him- or herself part of this European task and go right to their limits and beyond when it comes to human and financial resources. And since the processing of asylum seekers will be a lot faster in the future, all this can be done without a considerable increase in federal funding, says the Federal Chancellor!

It is hardly a surprise, said a tight-lipped Dr. Schäufele, that, due to this exemplary attitude of our Federal Chancellor, huge parts of the press celebrate her and even some mention her in connection with the Nobel Peace Prize!

Instigated by these jolting words from the Federal Chancellor, the concern heads now appeal to all concern firms to also contribute to this great national program and think about including young, trained and untrained refugees of war in their projects! Particulars about how this has to be done, so Dr. Schäufele, will be worked out by a specially installed working group at the appropriate time for the entire concern. And then forwarded to all the individual sectors and departments; it went without saying that, naturally, all unplanned personnel will have to be integrated into the existing work processes within three years in order to make sure that both the current and medium-term sales and profit goals will not suffer and that there is not the slightest interference with the concern numbers as determined; because nobody – ladies and gentlemen – Dr. Schäufele admonished everybody with a baleful expression, which was accompanied with an intense nodding of the Technology Manager Dr. Tuchweber,  can and wishes to risk a profit warning of the concern, even in these difficult weeks and months! Nobody can wish that! Absolutely nobody!

And as a prophylaxis, Dr. Tuchweber interrupted his colleague from trading Dr. Schäufele, he expects the entire leading crew of the TRIGA firm to influence their employees in such a highly motivating form that every one of them realizes how serious the situation is and thus not only works at a hundred per cent of his or her capacity but at those implicitly demanded a hundred and twenty per cent of said capacity! Because this was the only way, Dr. Tuchweber admonished the assembled listeners with a stern look, for Germany to master this gigantic task of channelling the streams of refugees in an organized way.

In the face of the high spirits unfurling all over the meeting room after this intense appeal of the management, Carl did not dare to ask the question if the concern heads themselves, too, were thinking about a contribution of their own by providing extra hitherto unplanned money for this so great national task. Instead, he just whispered the question into the ears of the person responsible for underwear sales, his neighbour Miriam Braun.

But even as Miriam Braun shrugged her shoulders several times with a helpless smile, Carl already became quite convinced that both the concern heads and the managing directors, just like the members of the Federal Government, were not to be envied for their quite well-filled money bags. Instead, the one thing they were to be envied for was the fact that they were all ’blessed with having no idea whatsoever’. This cluelessness has been created and guaranteed by a hierarchical order and command structure that removed everything not meant to be heard or seen ’in the upper regions’ through a precise and well-oiled filtering system!

Yes, even the production of such a banal thing as underwear followed this pattern.

Since, however, Carl had no intention of being subjected to this blessing, in fact he even started suffering from an unexpected case of sickness that might well threaten to befall the other persons in the room and even in the country, he spontaneously jumped up, shook his head and left the room, to the surprise of the other participants of the meeting …

KH

Roland Dürre
Monday October 5th, 2015

Meeting to Give Our Future Chance.

Isn’t this great?

Only the colleagues at Visual Braindump
Christian Botta and Daniel Reinold
can come up with this kind of idea for saying it in a nutshell in graphic form – our ActMobCmp:

Zum Vergrößern aufs Bild klicken.

Click to scale up.

“Active Mobility in everyday life” is the third column of mobility, besides individual motorized traffic and public transportation. Unfortunately, it is often considered no more than the leftovers, both in society and politics.

We promise:

AktMobCmp will be a great barcamp that takes place at a rather uncontested time! We will experience two special days in the company of people we like to meet between January, 4th and 5th, 2016 at Unterhaching.That hurts, and we have to change it. Because we have to rationalize our mobility in order to preserve our future resources!

Many thanks to Christian and Daniel for their huge support!

RMD
(In the name of the AktMobCmp team/translated by EG)

P.S.
Here are two IF Blog links for articles on AktMob and AktMobCmp. And since it is such an important topic, I would invite you to share and re-tweet!

Klaus Hnilica
Tuesday September 22nd, 2015

Is ‘Social Justice‘ just a Misunderstanding?

Yes – if we continue to hold onto what we have been considering the definition so far! /1/

According to this definition, everybody, strangely, thinks him- or herself socially just yet at the same time laments about the growing injustice in this world.

It seems that this discrepancy is insurmountable.

ApfelpflückerWe are simply too much in love with our unclear terminologies. In fact, we actually wallow in the concept that ‘social justice‘ has to be some kind of ‘moral, egg-laying wool-milk-sow‘, rather than just a minimum standard for human behaviour consisting just a few rules even evil persons have to stick by!

If, however, we accept this definition, we soon find out that ‘social justice‘ tends to have little in common with ‘romantic equality‘. Instead, it has a lot to do with not-so romantic ‘voluntariness‘. And that this is why politics in general have an inherent structural problem when it comes to generating ‘social justice‘, even if it very industriously tries to find and remove ‘legal loopholes‘. It is easy to show this in three steps. All you have to point out is:

   A)  the common principle of ‘exchange justice‘,

   B)  the principle of ‘equal treatment and equality of results‘ and

   C)  the particularly apparent ‘distribution justice‘.

Let us take a closer look at all three of them:

   A)  After all, we basically have a very special form of ‘exchange justice’ when, in the name of ‘social justice‘, people demand fair prices and fair incomes!

For instance when it comes to: here the aromatic Alp Butter, there the ridiculous one-euro-eighty; or here the super manuscript and there the low fee. If we were to demand ‘equality of values‘, then we would need the general ‘principle of exchange justice‘! But how to objectively determine this ‘equality of values‘ for every individual exchange process?

For instance: would one ounce of gold be too much for a bucket of water in the Sahara if it means the difference between life and death? And are 50 cents too much for two litres of milk if someone has a lactose incompatibility? Or what is the adequate fee for a manuscript which, later, will only be pushed underneath the one too short table leg?

Doesn’t this mean that the ‘evaluation‘ of an exchange object is by nature a very subjective thing and that this value has nothing to do with equality? Especially since said exchange only takes place because all the parties concerned see the object of exchange differently, which is why each considers his own deal profitable.

Naturally, this ‘exchange profit‘ is just as unprovable as the ‘exchange value‘; but it is also clear that any profit can only exist and be proved if the exchange has been voluntary! Which means that an exchange is always ‘socially just‘ if none of the parties concerned has been forced to accept it!

Of course, this voluntariness in an ‘exchange‘ does not guarantee that both parties can get what they hoped to achieve. Neither is it a protection against erroneous decisions, such as for instance the imprudent purchase of low-price milk regardless of lactose incompatibility. But this is not necessary, either. Because the evaluation of the ‘exchange profit‘ is subjective, which means that it cannot later be forced into a wrong equality measurement just because someone had erroneously and intuitively assumed that this ‘equality‘ in an ‘exchange profit‘ is closely related to ‘social justice‘!

Consequently, we can conclude that prices and incomes are always socially just when they can be accepted without one of the parties having been forced to accept!

    B)  Now let us discuss the allegedly socially just ‘equal treatment and equality of results‘!

Again, our equality mania brings us into a similar logical one-way road, as can be easily shown with a simple example: If, under the aspect of equality, you ask a retired lady, a sportsman and a six-year old boy to pluck apples from a four metre high apple tree with a ladder standing at its trunk, you will get considerably different results; the help you will have to give will, indeed, be rather diverse, before all three candidates will have plucked the same amount of apples – which means they have equal results.

Since, however, there are no two identical individuals on this earth, you will never get equal results if you treat them equally, and vice versa!

And regardless of this fact being absolutely obvious, we keep demanding equality along with social justice. But if equality were really socially just, then the state of affairs where all persons are poorly off would, according to justice theory, be the best that could happen, wouldn’t it?

Luckily, nobody believes this! But still we insist that the logical consequence cannot be to stop seeing equality as a manifestation of social justice.

    C)  The tendency towards equalization is particularly apparent when it comes to discussions about ‘fair distribution’!

To distribute something means to hand out from a supply. Fair distribution demands that this has to done following certain rules. However, the fairness is most obvious when the owner does the distributing him- or herself, because then it is his or her will alone that counts. To be sure, it might be reasonable to consider the expectations of third parties, but that is not demanded by social justice! Social justice is served by the protection of ownership rights.

But it gets truly difficult when you cannot clearly define ownership, as it is the case with all political systems because the spheres of interests of the distributors and the recipients will often be identical. Conflicts are unavoidable and the ‘just solution‘ of said conflicts are not just a theoretical challenge, but mostly no more than a noble goal!

Compared to this, private persons and enterprises have a rather easy life, don’t’ they? All they have to do is not cheat, not steal, not use violence and not break contracts – and already they are just. They need not abide by more rules than that!

When all is said and done, this consideration not only generates a theory of justice, but also a surprising solution for economic and social politics: why not move as many decisions as possible to the private sector – since this is where you have clear and, according to what has been stated above, ‘socially just‘ circumstances?

Well, I assume this will remain wishful thinking, because many will still refuse to abandon the inacceptable ‘equality saturated‘ definition of justice! And they will be even less willing to forego the potential increase in power derived from this ‘usurpatory definition of equality‘!

KH

/1/ Dagmar Schulze Heuling; „Was Gerechtigkeit nicht ist“; Nomos – Verlag Baden – Baden

§ § § § § § § § § § § …. … …

As I see it, ever more doubtful bills are passed quicker and quicker and with less and less diligence. This is true on the Bavarian, German, and European level.

Let me illustrate it using some harmless examples – harmless because probably nobody has ever been truly or severely punished or suffered from any of those bills. And they probably never caused any serious misery.

Among other things, I am talking the Culturally Valuable Goods Law, which they want to reform and make stricter, the Tele-Media-Law with its Disrupter Accountability (which is about accountability when using WLAN) and, last not least, the very controversial Tariff-Unity-Law.

The first of these three bills has been passed on August, 10th, 1955. It was supposed to prevent the total sell-out of German sacrosanct objects of historical and artistic value. It was probably a reaction to measures taken by countries such as Egypt who wanted to make it harder for foreign countries to steel their historic objects of art.

Now they want to modernize it – and even in this phase, they started a debate that, basically, makes clear what nonsense the bill is. For me, the question comes to mind: why do we not take a closer look at these laws before modernizing them? And why do we not ask ourselves what benefit and what damage these laws caused? Basically, we all know that all laws that have no use are detrimental by their very existence. And why are we not courageous enough to just abolish a law that has no use, anyway?

But no: instead of sweeping through, they come up with new useless laws all the time. Because they feel it would be a little too courageous to just abolish laws. But why?

In the same way, the issue of “disrupter accountability” as part of the Tele-Media-Law only causes misery. On my travels, I am often fascinated to see how unproblematic access to the internet is in many countries. But woe to the person who enters Germany …

To me, it also seems that disrupter accountability is one of those topics that particularly appeals to the outcry for security and the distrust culture of our civilized world, but also to the German mentality (German “angst”?). Who of us would want strangers to be given a right to trespass through our property?

The Tariff Unity Law is another example. Another nonstarter. Let me cite from Wikipedia:
Starting with July, 10th, 2015, we have the Tariff Unity Law in Germany. It says that, if labour agreements collide in one enterprise, only the tariff agreement of the union which had most members when the last agreement was signed can be applied. The law was subjected to strong criticism both from unions and the opposition and has been made the object of several constitutional complaints.

There was no chance to see if this law is doing any good. Because, sadly, it will probably never be installed. After all, even the first case it was used on turned out a failure. I am talking the argument between the GDL (Gewerkschaft der Lokomotivführer) and the Bahn AG. Well, basically this tariff argument was why the law had been instituted.

So what happened? The only reason why the opposing parties could agree during the mediation talks (incidentally, the mediator was a county governor from “the Leftist Party”) was that they both agreed that the law was never going to be put into practice. This is how the road was paved for the agreement.

For me, this sounds a lot like:
I write a program for a customer. And the first thing he does is agree to never use it. Well, would that not be a reason to start having doubts about the performance of my program …

Incidentally, there are other bills that have never been applied in practice. One of them is the Employee Involvement Law. In the spring of 2010, the Great Coalition decided to make it very attractive tax-wise if employees get more encouragement to invest in the enterprise. It is a rather complex law – and as far as I know, it has never been applied.
Both this and the aforementioned topics are hardly ever mentioned these days. The same is true for the Road Charge Law – the discussion of which was not that long ago either.

In fact, I believe that legislation is one of the areas where the simple wisdom “less is more” should be applied. But what we do is the opposite. Both the European and the national clouds let one law after the other rain on us. And quite a few announcements will give us pause like thunder and lightning. For instance, Frau Nahles wants a new regulation for “Fake Self-Employment”. She declared that the goal is to make sure everyone in our society actually pays into the social security insurance.

Well, I am absolutely sure that nothing good can come of this. I already look forward to seeing the results.

RMD
(Translated by EG)

Jörg Rothermel
Monday February 2nd, 2015

(Deutsch) Ist da was faul – in Australien?

Sorry, this entry is only available in German.

Klaus Hnilica
Thursday December 11th, 2014

What Happened to Germany? – Has it Really Gone to Sleep?

Carl and Gerlinde (XXXVIII)

Looking at his crumpled visage in the bathroom mirror, Carl initially spent some time wondering if he should instantly slap himself or wait until after breakfast! But then, you could not do it on an empty stomach, could you? Those worn-out corners of the mouth and this mildew tongue were just too disgusting! Besides, he feared that he might actually throw up any moment. Was it the stomach? Or was it the Halloween-mask?

The hot shower brought salvation!

Feeling the water glide over his head, back and bottom was like a life-spending electric impulse. When the chest, the stomach and the lifeless worm were also treated to some warm rain, Carls wobbly cerebrum, too, developed new momentum. In fact, even a few memories started finding their way through the alcohol-soaked synapses. The acute headache was also suddenly gone. After all, the one-and-a-half litres of Pinot Grigio in his blood system and liver had to find a way out of the body through perspiration, didn’t they? And the same was true for yesterday’s verbal tirades from Dr. Osterkorn alias Bernie and Miriam…

Admittedly, the ’wine-induced exchange of ideas’ of yesterday evening at Bernie’s favourite Italian restaurant had not come totally unexpectedly for Carl: after the disastrous collapse of sales numbers caused by the ’Russian Beating’, it had, naturally, been totally foreseeable that the sector leaders of TRIGA would have to fire rapidly and loudly.

Carl vaguely remembered that Bernie had said something more or less to that tune while carefully lathering his smelly armpits – phew! – it was really high time…
Basically, you had to admit that Bernie, too, was only someone driven by circumstances! The same was true for the directors and the concern management: they all had to achieve the planned profit margins. Without profit – no premium! Neither for the directors, nor for Bernie and his sector sales head Carl. Let alone Miriam, the person responsible for underwear.

You know what – what we need is a completely new narrative for our underwear, Bernie had then spontaneously thrown in while toasting Miriam and looking like a young bull – upon which she only sceptically raised her eyebrows. Yes – we badly need a truly revolutionary idea in order to tell the story of our slips, tops and bras in a totally new way and convince our customers narratively! Well, and perhaps the tops might again reach the navel in the next few years. And the ladies’ knickers might actually again be knickers, instead of only covering the pubic hair and being bottom cheek dividers?

When this fragment of memory made its way through his brain while he was lathering his bottom and with horror imagining thong slips for men, Carl had to laugh so hard that his injured body shook vehemently enough to cause the showering water – what shock – to noisily splash against the showering cabin …

Well, maybe Putin was right after all, Bernie had said aloud in his monologue, when he started keeping the Russian ladies away from these ’knickers fragments” this summer and instead in a future-oriented way pointing them back towards knickers that actually deserved the name. Who can blame him for, in the same process, re-adjusting the scale of values for the ’New Russia’? After all, great, proud Russia can never be permitted to sink as low as the decadent West and pay homage to ideals the top incarnation of which is the embodiment of a ’Conchita Wurst’! Well, this is totally comprehensible, isn’t it?

And how do you propose we do this, my dear Bernie? Miriam suddenly became poisonous: are we now supposed to run around in underpants that reach up to the neck and hide underneath the cashmere caftan? Well, good luck to you, you who understand Putin. I am sure you only want us back in the nineteenth century in order to retrieve the Russian business! If that is so, let me know long enough in advance. I will be gone faster than you can say ’Indiana Jones’!

Carl, who by now had lathered himself down to the toes, had been rather surprised to see how spiritedly Miriam had snapped at her Bernie. That had really been good to see. In fact, it deserved an extra-strong massage spurt on his back and loins! Heavenly – true bliss. …

What lucky stroke that the meal had followed instantly, otherwise Miriam and Bernie would have started a really biting verbal duel. As it was, Bernie was able to bite into his roast lamb and Miriam to nibble on her baked gilthead seabream while he loaded himself hastily with his lamb goulash in lemon sauce. Actually, while doing so, he was forced to keep his mouth closed.

Since, apparently, Bernie was a stranger to such manners and kept talking with his mouth full, he allowed Carl and Miriam to participate in his tender roast lamb by spreading it on the tablecloth in small portions. On the other hand, this enabled him to seamlessly move from Putin to Merkel. From the latter, he repeatedly demanded a narrative for Germany similar to the one Putin had delivered for the ’New Russia’!

But I am sure, Miriam, also seamlessly continued in her acerbic tone while making short and expert shrift of her own gilthead seabream, Bernie, that you will not now demand the model of a radical ’underwear about-face’ from ’Mama Merkel’ after her ’Energy About-Face’, will you?

Of course not, Bernie munched, but ’Our Angela’ would be well advised to surprise the German People with a nice and usable ’narrative for Germany’, instead of permanently singing us a lullaby of empty words! We would certainly benefit from being more concerned with the rest of the world, instead of constantly agonizing under our own fears! Only ’German Angst’ is a little thin, isn’t it, Carl?

Indeed, that was something Carl, still showering, absolutely agreed with, before finally turning off this immensely satisfying massage spurt. Incidentally, after the water massage, you had to do some ’Cold Showering’! And in order to do that, you needed at least the same degree of discipline as for the development of a narrative for Germany…

But, lo and behold: it had not been possible to hold back Little Osterkorn. After Miriam’s reprimands and the roast lamb, he not only craved after an instant Titamisu, but simultaneously came along with narrative ideas. Or had it been Miriam? She thought that, in a new narrative for Germany, we should not only keep repeating the Second World-War, the Rebuilding and the Holocaust like a mantra. Also, we should not limit ourselves to talking about the East-West division and Europe, but additionally point out that Germany had lately turned into a very coveted immigration country. Neither should we forget to mention the fact that, for example, during the last two soccer world championships, it even was suddenly considered hip, multi-culti, joyous and colourful!

Well, this was the moment when Carl had had enough of the ’Cold Shower’! Shivering with cold, he jumped out of the shower cabin, rubbed himself with the beach towel moaning noisily and absolutely did not want to be reminded that he – perhaps he had already been a little tipsy at the time – had stubbornly wished to include the ’energy about-face’ into the new Germany Narrative after Miriam’s wise outline. His tongue had grown heavy when he insisted that such a procedure would actually practically by itself cause a fundamental change in paradigm for the underwear business: after all, warm underwear would inevitable also reduce the heating, which then would also affect the CO2 emission! Wasn’t this clear as can be?

And based on these facts, Frau Merkel would – through the warm underwear as massively subsidized by the government – probably easily be able to counter all sceptics with total serenity in her typical lack of precision that the country of the ’poets and isolators’ will actually fulfil its very ambitious climate promise made to the European Community! In fact, we might even end up far beyond those promises, providing the Great Coalition were – in violation of the coalition contract – to decide that now ’thermo underwear’ is to be subsidized as massively as insulation of buildings, as suggested by Herrn Siegmar Gabriel. Naturally, all these measures would have to leave the “black zero” as propagated by Herrn Schäuble untouched, which is something that, even if having no influence on the world climate, would be immensely detrimental to the CDU – which was the only thing that counted! If Frau Merkel never said this in Carl’s mental concept, it was still what she believed.

It must have been shortly after this that his personal memory broke down, because he does not remember Bernie’s loud rejoicing. And Gerlinde alone knew how he had returned home. She, however, did not wish to see him this morning, which in itself was a little strange, wasn’t it?

KH
(Translated by EG)