Roland Dürre
Saturday December 30th, 2017


Munich, December, 30th, 2018, 12:00 – Source: IF Blog


Unofficial terror warning, level 4, for all the citizens of the FRG, especially in big cities. 

A billion dollar deal!

Tomorrow, a huge collective mass, not necessarily defined by religion, but certainly fanatic humans, will become victims of consumer terror. In almost exactly 36 hours, there will be a category 1 fine-dust attack on the environment (not only) in Germany.

The target of this collective terror will be the air we breathe, especially in big cities. Among these small terrorists, you will – not totally to my surprise – find many car drivers who add to the misery they spread all the year round by a big bang. They will shoot rackets into the night until the last one is spent.

This environmental catastrophe will continue until the early morning of January, 1st. It is triggered by masses of firecrackers. The alarm can only be turned off in the morning of January, 1st. The main attack against our health will last for about one hour. More sporadic explosions and emissions are still possible during the subsequent hours and days.

Especially elderly, handicapped and sick persons, along with children, are strongly advised to remain in their flats and keep the windows closed during the night between December, 31st, 2017 and January, 1st, 2018. All exercise in fresh air, such as hiking or riding a bike, are strictly forbidden.

Due to collateral events accompanying this eruption, the advice is also directed to all females (see additional sexism warning below).

The considerable noise is a collateral damage related to the terrorist attack but can be ignored. To be sure, if you listen, you might be reminded of war and bombs and thus suffer traumata. But basically, the only living creatures that really suffer are animals.

Since the rockets do not contain military pay-load and the explosive charges – let us hope all of them – have to be empty (experts call them castrated explosive charges), the physical and emotional damage, as well as the material destruction of objects and houses, will, luckily, be minimal.

But we have to give a massive warning because of the increased alcohol consumption of all the prosperity terrorists involved. Consequently, there is quite a chance that “anonymous situations” will be used for sexual assaults (from turning you on verbally over physical closeness to rape).

Women, therefore, should avoid locations where masses of people converge. This is especially true for railway stations and plazas near other traffic junctions.

If a woman really needs to leave her home around the critical time, then she should only do so wearing total body mummery and she should be accompanied by several strong men.

If you ignore this unofficial warning, you must take responsibility for possible consequences and cannot claim that “you did not know”!

(Translated by EG)

This article is only partially meant as a joke. Because fine dust at Sylvester (Feinstaub an Silvester) is not at all something I find funny. It is also interesting that the Bayerische Staatsministerium für Umwelt und Verbraucherschutz gives an “official” warning that exploding firecrackers can cause injuries.
However, this official source does not mention at all how essentially and massively the maniac fireworks create fine dust. But at least the Federal Ministry gives a statement. The church used to have a motto: “food instead of fireworks”.
But that, too, seems no longer en vogue?

Realized as “sex app” on blockchain basis. Great Features!

Terrible age: in the middle of puberty and still without sex contract.

Trendsetter USA.

We have “God’s own country“. The government of which still considers itself the world police – regardless of the fact that they have not been number 1 in the world for a long time. They lost the right to “moral leadership” (if there can even be such a thing) a long time ago.

In that country, it happens almost every week that an amok shooter (mostly male) kills a dozen people. Just like that. Regardless of the fact that (or perhaps more: because) this country always has had a high affinity to punishment and revenge. That is also why their prisons are as full as nowhere else in the world. Filled to the brim, especially with coloured men.

Now, the very same country announced that it will fight sexism with all its might. And consequently, they now, for instance, cut out actors from film scenes. The sexism wave rolls through the world, many men are massively accused of having behaved sexist or of still behaving sexist.

Sexual violence in power-based systems.

In the European Parliament, too, women now hold up the “#MeToo“ posters for the men (who actually do not even attend such parliamentary sessions) to see. Because in the Parliament, too, just like in Hollywood, women (mostly, but sometimes also men) have been or are sexually molested or pressure is put on them or they are cheated and thus made to act sexually and even abused and raped.

Sexual violence in the public domain.

At the same time, I hear that sexual violence cannot only be found on streets and plazas (especially in front of railway stations), as well as around religious and other institutions of this world, but particularly often in the home environment and inside marriages.

Sexual violence at home.

It is said that husbands often demand what is allegedly their right by using force. If that is so, then something should probably be done by the executive. Why not regulate the marital sex with a separate contract, like a “Nuptial Contract II”? Just like the “Nuptial Contract I” regulates everything about the property and the additions to same during the marriage.

You can regulate the sexual side in a separate marriage contract (as they already do it in the sadist-masochist environment).

A report in the “Zeit“ confirms that my idea is a good one. You can read that sadist-masochist practices are reported on TV (which means this makes them socially acceptable). You can also read that, before they interact in sadist-masochist sexual ways, these couples or groups sign a written “letter of intent” where they agree which practices are desired, which are borderline and from where the red line that must not be crossed is reached.

An old joke for problem solution.

These protocols remind me of a joke we boys told each other when we were 14. Let me call it “sewing machine”. It is about an elderly couple who have agreed upon the following:

A married couple designed a protocol that had proved reliable through their entire marriage. They had defined the term “sewing machine” as a code word for “sexual desire”. In those days (just like today), nobody would have dared to say these things out loud.

This is how it was done: If one of the partners desired sex, they were allowed to say “sewing machine”. The partner could either comply or refuse. And the other party had to accept the refuse without frustration or accusations. This was the mutual agreement.

The couple lived happily for many decades and their relationship was characterized by mutual respect. However, “sewing machine” came less and less often as the years went by.

One evening, the already elderly husband took heart and said the magic word “sewing machine” to his beloved wife. His no longer very young spouse was tired and refused. After some time, however, she made up her mind and said “sewing machine” to her husband. He replied sadly: “What a pity, now I sewed the few stitches I needed by hand”.

Well, the simple protocol as related in this joke (application – acceptance or refusal) is, of course, too simple for modern standards. After all, we live in times of total regulation and want precise rules.

Nuptial Contract II for Marriages.

A good Nuptial Contract II for regulating the sexual transactions in a marriage that meets modern expectations will certainly be a little more complex than the aforementioned agreement. It would be a little like the modern patient’s provision. You have to imagine quite a few potential future scenarios and clearly say what you want to happen in all cases. I certainly would not wish to list in detail all the many things that need to be considered. You would also have to state how violations by a partner are to be punished in order to document the offenses in a legally accepted way. But I am sure that the ingenious and sexually experienced solicitors will gladly provide you with wonderful and lengthy model contracts.

In modern times, sex does not only happen between married couples, but more and more also in free life. But this, too, needs to be regulated. You cannot just go ahead and have sex without before having agreed upon the following questions: What is desired and what is not desired? What is permitted and what is not permitted? How do you signal opposition? Whose fault is it if suddenly matters get out of control? …

No responsible legislation can just look the other way and leave such a strong legal uncertainty. After all, you have to protect the people from their own activities. Just imagine how many people could be falsely accused and the accused persons have no way of proving the lies? But those lies can destroy entire lives.

An app for free extra-marital intercourse.

In this case, I would offer an app. After all, the sexual partners wish to remain anonymous and it is a “peer2peer“ agreement (I am sure a man-in-the-middle would not be welcome in this context). The IT based solution would have to be based on block chain technology.

This kind of app has many advantages. Since it is in possession of the sex profiles of both partners, it can quite easily and quickly draw up a clear contract: with a single click, the partners can set the average of sexual variants for bot (or, if so desired, even more) partners.

Great Features!

Additionally, this app might provide considerable added value. Besides giving contractual certainty in an uncertain sexual world, it could also extend the libretto (like a cooking recipe) for the planned sexual interaction by recommendations that, for instance, are preferred by other sexual partners who have similar profiles. Or it might also include suggestions from the Kamasutra – quasi as suggestions for improvement and then initiate a contentment feedback for both partners. And then the contract could be extended based on said feedback.

You must not forget the contract termination!

Of course, a very important part of the app is that the sex contract is properly terminated or its end mutually agreed upon after the relationship is finished. It would probably be most user-friendly if such contracts are always limited in time (between one and a maximum of five years). If necessary, they might include an optional extension. Before the regular contract time is up, such a contract would have an integrated retrospective and offer support for contract modification to the partners in case of extension (change management).

Integration of the functionality into a speed dating mechanism.

The functionality could also be integrated into the software for speed dating portals or apps (for instance Münchner-Single or Tinder), which means the entire process (life cycle management) from the first meeting to the separation could be offered from one service. An automatic switch to Njuptial Contract II would have to be included.

Legal security by means of precise documentation.

What a wonderful new sexual world such a technological progress would bring! And what makes it even better: if you document the actual behaviour during the sexual interaction at all times by recording videos with your smart phone, you could guarantee even more legal security. The video tape could be used as a neutral proof if, for instance, one of the partners has violated a prior agreement. Naturally, this means of proof, just like the entire app, would be strictly data protected and it would have to be deleted after both partners have agreed to destroy it.

At Google they already have all of this for normal life.

For all those who refuse to take what I wrote seriously, I want to remind you that this is how, in many dimensions, the network already works. For those who take me seriously, I have a word of comfort. This article is meant to be more cynical than anything else. And if there is ever such an app, then you can try it. But that does not mean you have to try it.

However, I am quite serious about one thing: there is no solution to the sexism problem. The only thing that helps is a violence free communication at eye-level between humans in general and, of course, also between men and women. And a fair and considerate treatment of each other based on mutual respect and appreciation.

Nor do I wish to make a secret of the fact that this current wave of collective hypocrisy on sexism is something I find extremely repelling. Unfortunately, you have to take it seriously – some of it reminds me very much of the witch hunt we had in earlier epochs. When all is said and done, it is always about using power in order to satisfy your own greed, be it sexual greed, material greed or other greed.

In the man-woman-sex model, we are talking both directions:
Man uses power in order to get sex. Woman uses sex in order to get power.

It will probably not be possible to solve the problem that those who have power will always want more power by installing new laws or new punishment. After all, the powerful assume that he can bend the law to his own will. I find it rather sad that, regardless of all the sexual enlightenment, even today there is probably no other area where there is so much hypocrisy as when people talk sex.

My next articles about “SEX“
will be less cynical than this one. They will also be more serious. There are enough topics I would like to write about. Here is a small outlook:

  • What made it possible that it was the women who were given all the social responsibility for contraception? It makes infertility quasi a social obligation! And to top it all, society celebrates the process as the “liberation of women”! Is that not also some kind of rape? And what consequences does it have?
  • Motivated by the current sexism wave, I started thinking about if and when I experienced the use of sexism and power at InterFace Connection GmbH / InterFace AG, which is the enterprise I founded a long time ago. And how did I myself treat such symptoms? I will relate the result of my thinking process as part of my entrepreneurial diary in this blog.
  • It also strikes me that there are interesting parallels between sexism and corruption. The sexual enrichment of your life by using power does not really differ too much from the material enrichment by using power. There are numerous temptations. You can give in to them – but you do not have to. I will write about this in one of my next articles.

(Translated by EG)

Hans Bonfigt
Monday September 11th, 2017

Autobahn 2.0: Der neugrüne Rassismus – Hully Gully

Sorry, this entry is only available in German.

Roland Dürre
Sunday September 10th, 2017

Another “Coming Out“ – #BTW2017

A cynical party-parody. Unfortunately, I mean it seriously, which makes it a sad thing.

In two weeks, I will again have to vote.

Perhaps 50 years ago.

My civil “super-ego” forces me to go to the elections. After all, I do believe that democracy is doubtless one of the better political systems, even if ours has been seriously perverted and consequently suffered huge damage due to “election marketing”, the dominance of lobbyism when it comes to legislation and government and a party oligarchy.

Besides, the party I vote for will not only get my vote but also one Euro from the state (if certain requirements are met ).

Consequently, I have spent quite some time already in preparation for the next election Sunday. Here is the current state of my personal evaluation. I chose the exclusion principle:

For historical reasons, I cannot vote for the big “people’s parties“ CDU and CSU. They both are responsible for the German re-armament against the expressed wish of the German people. In quite a goal-oriented way, it was prepared by the protagonist Adenauer immediately after WW-II and then realized as soon as possible in a fashion that I would call “criminal”. 
In doing so, they failed to take advantage of a unique historical chance. A chance that perhaps no other country except Germany ever had – which was due to its miserable history in the 20th century. As a consequence of the establishment of the “Bundeswehr”, the GDR followed suit three years later with the creation of the “Volksarmee” – and that was the moment up from which two German states, both heavily armed, confronted each other on either side of a brutal border. 
Without re-armament, the revival of the German weapons industry would not have been possible, either. Another result was forced labour that they called “compulsory military service”. It cost me 18 months of my life. 
Moreover, both “C-parties” have – to this day – seen to it that the political and social characteristics of the FRG are such that it became an opportunistic and egoistic welfare system. Protection of your property has become the highest social value. Even the “C” in the name cannot camouflage that fact. 
Under CDU dominated governments, the state became a marionette of the industry, the destruction of the environment (air, water, soil, nature) was accepted and even promoted (!), as for instance can be seen in the war on the streets. It became the ruling task of the educational system that young people should be turned into consumers and trained to be the labouring masses for the industry. Social solidarity was misinterpreted and freedom was sacrificed. . 
Parties that, to this day, believe that all these measures were good will not get my vote.

Neither can I, these days, vote for the SPD and Green Party, because they not only supported all these things, but also must be made responsible for making foreign German Armed Forces activities possible. At the time, the red-green coalition broke a taboo:
The German Armed Forces were no longer exclusively for defence, but “in order to take world-wide responsibility”. Consequently, that was the time when the FRG started to not only export weapons but also war. 
Unfortunately, if you take a close look at history, the polemic rhyme: “Who was the traitor, social democrats?” is only too true for the SPD. Even my agreeing with the ideal of social democracy cannot make up for this. 
As I see it, the Green Party developed from an idealistic-moralistic party to become an indoctrinated event – besides, I observe that the change from being an opposition to becoming a reigning party took place in an exceptionally foul way: ideals were sacrificed for positions and power.

I do not want to give my vote to the FDP. I am not really familiar with their negative historic achievements because I never took great notice of the party. However, in my perception, the FDP is and always was a party that – with the exception of a few protagonists – always acted rather opportunistic. It also basically always functioned as a party of patronage. And they received even more huge donations from industry than the other aforementioned parties. Besides: if someone demands and propagates FREEDOM yet does not know the meaning of the word, then I do not want to support them.

So what other parties do we have?

Currently, the AfD is rather successful. Well, I need not give reasons in this article why I cannot and will note vote for them. Just like the NPD is out of the question for me. Luckily, it seems like the NPD is no longer relevant. Regardless of the fact that, for reasons I cannot follow, the aforementioned parties constantly seem to try and forbid the NPD, rather than the AfD.

Next, let us take a look at the “Freien Wähler“ and the Freie Bürger Union (FBU). In Wikipedia, several groups of voters  and one small party call themselves “Freie Bürger Union“. They are present in various German cities and constituencies. Bavaria is a regional centre of these groups. And: they consist of bourgeois conservative or rightist-liberally  oriented regional communal politicians, activists and sometimes former representatives of the CDU/CSU who are no longer party members. I cannot give them my vote. 
Among other things, the Freien Wähler want to strengthen municipal self-administration. Their given reason for becoming candidates both on county and state level is that the politics of county and state undermine the independence of the municipalities The party is in favour of separate financial responsibility for the municipalities. On the European level, the party demands that excluding a region must become a set rule in parliament. I cannot vote for them.

So now I need to discuss the “Piraten”. According to Wikipedia, this party considers itself the party of the Information Society and thus as part of the international movement for participation when it comes to the change, they give high priority to “digital revolution” and consequently the information society. I rather like that. In fact, I already voted for the Pirates once in the past. To me, they seemed like a party full of values that, luckily, did not have a programmatic approach. Instead, they basically want to provide their know-how on digitalization, which is a focal point of their agenda. I also knew some members of the Pirate party. They were small entrepreneurs or else freelancers. Some of them were quite nice. 
Then, however, the Pirates thought they had to write a program and thus give up the principle of free actions following the best possible knowledge. In my eyes, this was how they exchanged their agile souls for the hope of success. Ever since then (as a matter of course), their development was in one direction only: down. For me, they were no longer a party I could vote for. What a pity.

Now I already analysed 10 (in words: ten) parties and none of them can get my vote! Am I heading towards abstaining? Will I let my election-Euro go unused? Well, not all is lost, because there are a few parties left.

I find Die Linke in Wikipedia. It says that Die Linke (aka  Linkspartei )  was created through the merging of the SPD splitter WASG and the Linkspartei.PDS. The latter is a result of a re-naming of the SED successor PDS in 2005. This is how Die Linke suffers from a stigma that, to this day, has prevented it from becoming acceptable in society. Allegedly, there are still numerous SED and Stasi people on board, although this seems unlikely to me, if only for demographic reasons. If I were the Wahlomat kind of person, I would probably vote for “Die Linke”, because in their program, I find quite a few things that I absolutely agree with. 
On the other hand, I own a small but industriously earned amount of money – and there is a historic fear in me that the communists might wish to take my millions away from me. As they say: “Only the most stupid calves will vote for their own butchers.“
Apropos calves: there is a Song, but it is directed against the AfD – rather than against Die Linke. However, I do not wish to be a stupid calf.
On the other hand, perhaps I should vote for Die Linke, after all? With modern “democratic honesty”, you should probably vote for the party that you like best. Consequently, I cannot discount the possibility of giving them my vote. Albeit without enthusiasm. But then, enthusiasm left me a long time ago.

But I have not yet reached that stage. I keep looking. Riding my bike to Unterhaching, I see a poster advertising “Die Grauen”. I am thinking of my sparse pension. If I had nothing on top of it, I would be really poorly off. Regardless of the fact that I paid the highest possible pension insurance for decades.
However: Die Grauen have the slogan “For all Generations”. What a disappointment. They are not in favour of us retired people, after all.
However, I find it nice, because I have children and grandchildren. And I want them, too, to be well off. 
According to Wikipedia, “Die Grauen” see themselves in the tradition of the movement Graue Panther that was founded in the 1970ies by Trude Unruh. As opposed to this movement, the party does not see itself as a party for the elderly, but instead has an all-encompassing political approach that they also want to see reflected in the name tag amendment. They formulate their philosophy in the foreword of the party program: “In a global world that moves faster and faster, Die Grauen want to combine the energy of youth with the experience of the elderly and form a society worth living in”. Well, this seems to sound nice. For me, however, it contains too many buzzwords. So I will gladly forget Die Grauen.

I start getting desperate. I found a dozen parties – and only one of them is even remotely an option. But – as they say: never give up. If you fall down, you have to get up again. Clean your mouth and continue.

So I continue. And lo and behold, I see a poster with a very special message:
Don’t be a Horst!

That is something I understand immediately. I definitely would not wish to be one. When he was Minister of Health in Berlin, he committed enough crimes. And now he is king of Bavaria. 
Except: the poster advertises “Die Partei”. According to Wikipedia, DIE PARTEI  is a party for work, for a constitutional state, for animal protection, for elite promotion and for basis-democratic initiatives (Apronym: Die PARTEI). It is a German small party that was founded in 2004 by a few editors of the satire magazine Titanic and distinctly has parody character.“ 
We also read: Die PARTEI meets the legal requirements formulated in the Parteiengesetz. However, some doubt that their program is actually meant seriously. Among other things, they imitate characteristics and electoral campaign methods used by other parties and occasionally some of the members are seen on other party’s events.

Well, basically I am the type of reader who reads POSTILLON, but you must never be too one-sided. “Die Partei“ is also called the satire party. When I hear satire, I think cabaret. And immediately, I think of people like Bruno Jonas, Claus Wagner, Dieter Hildebrandt, Gerhard Polt, Jörg Hube, Josef Hader, Georg Schramm, Maximilian „Max“ Uthoff, Sigi Zimmerschied, Urban Priol (Pelzig) and Werner Schneyder. Not to forget the much-loved Hanns Dieter Hüsch. These are all people I saw many times and some of them I was personally acquainted with. They all absolutely impressed me with their sensitivity, their sharp intellect and their precise logics. I admire how they were able to retain their sense of humour in the face of everything. These are people I managed to have honest discussions with quite quickly.

Most of the cabaret people I saw on TV or when I went to their shows made a huge impression on me. Maybe it makes sense, after all, to actually vote for a “satire party”. Especially if such a party offers itself to frustrated non-voters who need to be persuaded to vote at all? 
Unfortunately, this party, too, has a shadow looming over it. A short time ago, I followed a constructive facebook discussion about whether or not anybody can call himself responsible if he votes for a satire party in times like ours, where the social spiral rapidly points downwards and huge problems loom over the horizon. Because times are basically the exact opposite of hilarious. 
As I see it, this is a serious argument. But then, maybe we should solve the problems with serious humour? So now I found another party besides Die Linke that might qualify as a recipient of my cross and one Euro.

However, I want more. This is not the way to get on. So now I use another concept of thought and ask myself what was the last relevant social change in Bavaria I considered progress and which party initiated it.

The answer is easy – it was Non-Smokers’ Protection. In Bavaria, it has now even been enforced on the Octoberfest, which is something that seemed to be unthinkable for a long time. Consequently, this year, I can really look forward to the Octoberfest that takes place at the same time as the elections. I will spend the evening of election day with friends drinking in a smoke-free environment. In Bavaria, the protection of non-smokers was initiated after a plebiscite “Non-Smokers’s Protection” on July, 4th,2010 after a successful  petition for a referendum  “For true non-smokers’ protection!“. The petition had aimed at changing the Bavarian Health Protection Law (Gesundheitsschutzgesetz, GSG). As a consequence, they eventually installed a ban on smoking  in all pubs without exception. The C party had been against it on the grounds that, allegedly, the entire Bavarian restaurant sector would be ruined. The initiative had come from Sebastian Frankenberger and the ÖDP.
Well, my discussion of parties had actually not yet mentioned the ÖDP. Incidentally, their program is a fairly good match to my ideas. However, I sometimes fear that there might be a lot of protestant frugality and catholic saintliness in this party. However, as long as the goals are the right ones and I am not forced to become a catholic…

So now I found three parties that might actually be worthy of my vote: Die Linke, the Partei and the ÖDP. During the next few weeks, I will gather some more information and think about it – and then I will decide. After all, I know full well that decisions are always made under uncertainty.

And now, for the time being, there is an end to me “outings”.

(Translated by EG)

Today, when I rode my bike home, I saw a DKP poster at the Ottobrunn S-Bahn station. It said: “More Income, Less Armament”. Well, that sounds reasonable and rational. But can anybody vote for DKP? Somehow or other, that would be strange.

Roland Dürre
Wednesday July 5th, 2017

About Weapons and Cars

On July, 13th, we will again meet for an “AktMobCmp“ and dream of peaceful and active mobility. I take that as a motivation to write a polemic article against cars and weapons. On the other hand, it is not at all polemic. If it were not so sad, it would actually be hilarious.

CAREFUL – I know about cars! “My Porsche (from Distler) and I!“

Each year, millions of new cars are distributed around the planet. Most of them arrive at the customer, but more and more just sit there waiting. Sometimes many thousands of them in the desert (see CAREFUL – I also know about weapons – pistols, guns, machine-guns and bazookas.). Sometimes hundreds of them in our small world, at the small and medium-sized “second-hand car salespersons” that you find by the dozens along all the bigger and smaller streets that lead to and from our smaller and bigger cities.

But also the “registered” cars are only used sporadically, Mostly they sit around, often looking very stupid and blocking ways. They use up immense space plastered with concrete and steal the people their living areas. I do not find that nice. Except if all those cars were driving around all the time, that would be an unimaginable catastrophe. So it is probably better that they are sitting around.

Because it just does not make sense that the world is being packed with and overridden by more than one billion “motorized vehicles” and that there are probably already more car seats than humans.

Something must change – because this planet cannot survive it. But money reigns over the world – and cars are an excellent way to make money. After all, cars are perfect for the ego of the consumer-oriented person you find in our “modern and developed society”.

CAREFUL – I also know about weapons – pistols, guns, machine-guns and bazookas.

It is similar with weapons. Here, too, an unbelievable amount is produced each year. I truly do not know if the world spends more money on cars or on weapons. Both sums are probably unimaginable.

Weapons, too, are first and foremost status symbols. Perhaps even more so than cars. What the pistol or the gun is for Jim and John, the intercontinental ballistic rocket is for the powerful. And they all upgrade all the time. Even in Bavaria, because the state is becoming unsafe. The police because your Jim and John becomes more and more violent. And the NATO and its enemies because the general state of the world becomes more and more dangerous.

Both weapons and cars, however, are not only good for your ego. With weapons, too, you can really make a profit. Luckily, weapons – as opposed to cars or just like cars (?) – are mostly produced in reserve. From the business perspective, that makes no sense in the long run, because you must actually use them. So you will need wars. And whenever, through a huge effort, you actually get peace somewhere, you will want to create war somewhere else. It does not really take a huge effort. And if you want to remain in business, you will never want wars to end!

Luckily (for us) wars generally take place in a part of the world that is quite far away from us. Because we find war is a bad thing. Here in Europe, they declared war taboo. To be sure, we earn good money with wars, but we do not want to see the results.

Even if there is a little bit of terror, we overreact. Well, this is an absolute no-go. After all, we already have enough victims of our wars on the motorways and streets of our republic. That is enough. So we wage wars as far away from our borders as possible. And we are especially keen on fighting terror.

But woe if the weapons are used everywhere. That would be called world-war. That would mean an end to comfort and “over-and-out”. For all of us.

The cars already play at “world-war”. World-wide, they murder considerably more than a million persons each year (they say the number is 1.25 million, with many times ten-fold as many seriously wounded).

That is probably more than, so far, all weapons together manage to kill every year – even if we count and sum up with normal weapons victims (like in the USA), with those caused by terror attacks and those of all the “just wars” for or against some brain-damaged concepts.

There are absurdities both with weapons and cars! And if it were not so sad, one would have to find it hilarious.

For instance, there is a very modern cannon sitting on a very modern ship. Let us guess which “non-evil country” owns them. However, you are not allowed to use the cannon, because every shot costs 800,000 US-Dollars. It is particularly embarrassing if the ship we mentioned gets stuck in the Panama Channel. That was the Zumwalt (2016).

But there must be a time when the cannon of the Zumwalt has to be used. I am not all that familiar with it (after all, I served with the air force), but perhaps such an expensive shot will be worth it when, later on, a Chinese aircraft carrier is shot down. Allegedly, they are building quite a few of them now. Well, one would assume that the first shot has to be on target.

The MOAB, which, incidentally, was originally not called the mother of all bombs – the Pentagon would never come up with such a cynical name – too, had to be tried out at some time. And since they knew no better, they chose Pakistan. Because such a poor country cannot really fight back, and besides, it has to be liberated from the Taliban.

So they allegedly destroyed a huge subterranean Taliban complex. And because they had protected the civilians optimally before they threw the bomb, they knew the exact numbers of killed Taliban shortly after the bomb had been delivered. How wonderfully absurd.
As far as cars are concerned, I see the absurdities on a daily basis in the streets of Munich. Some of them are called SUVs and sometimes they have more horsepower than a truck or bus. And their emissions land right in my face and in my lungs, just like the smoke used to when someone sat opposite me eating their Pizza in the restaurant and smoking a cigarette.

A friend of mine suggested that they should first transfer the emissions of cars into the inside of the cars, before releasing them into the atmosphere. Riding my bike along the Rosenheimer Strasse, I am quite inclined to vote in favour of that idea.

With cars, we have a new development. Because even the terrorists, who are not very well-educated, have now found out what a good tool cars are when it comes to doing their job: the car as the best of all bombs. They use it more and more often. The cities and towns already start protecting their squares and pedestrians’ zones with bollards. Maybe we should invest in enterprises that make bollards?

I close my article with numbers from the German Federal Statistical Office about the war on our streets .

WIESBADEN – 239 persons died in traffic accidents in April 2017. According to the Federal Statistics Office (Destatis), this was eight fatalities or 3.2 % fewer than in April 2016. The number of injured persons decreased by 12.0 % to circa 28.300 compared the same month last year.
The number of persons killed between January and April 2017 was 867, which is more or less the same as in the same time period 2016 (865). Roughly 105,600 persons were injured during the first four months of 2017 on German streets, which is a decline of 2.9 % compared to the same interval in 2016. The number of accidents also declined. In the first four months of 2017, the police counted 790,400 traffic accidents, which is 1.4% less than last year. In 81,300 of these accidents, humans were injured (– 2.7 %) and in 709,000 accidents, there was only material damage (– 1.2 %).

Well, at least they say the number decreased. Regardless of the number of persons killed going up. But then, why bother with two more fatalities?

(Translated by EG)

Klaus Hnilica
Thursday June 1st, 2017

An Outrageous Summing-Up!

He had promised himself that this was going to happen: when he, ’Colonel ’ Vatter – two “t-s”, please – would turn seventy, and if by then he would still be clear-headed, – then he would write a summing-up of his life in front of the entire family clan Vatter, especially in front of his wife Cornelia, his daughter Conny and his son Corni! And since, even in early childhood, he had been given the nickname ’Colonel’, the ’ruthless summing-up of his life’ was a foregone conclusion.

Or rather, it was ’some kind of summing-up’! Just like you also have double accounting!

Basically, it was a dry listing of ’positive’ and ’negative’ assets, including a subsequent ’balancing’, just like on a scale, that was now determined!

Without qualms and totally self-critical, he was going to list under ’positive assets’ everything that he had managed to accomplish in his life and how he had left all losers behind. And, naturally, under ’negative assets’, he was going to list everything that others had failed to accomplish! He was going to list their failures in the most precise and unbiased way, just like all diligent book-keepers traditionally knew that was their duty!

Basically, in his opinion, every upright man should make such a list when he nears the end of his life in a neutral and humble way! A balance sheet of life where you focus as clear as glass and judge your success and other people’s failures.

Even your own family could not be left out of such a balance sheet, provided you wanted to include them.

But then, everything had to be dug up and put on the table. Even if you only had the dining room table – because no other table was big enough. Naturally, this was a nightmare for his much-loved Cornelia: because said dining table was overflowing with stone-hard breakfast eggs, tough steaks, burnt schnitzels, half-cooked chicken legs, mushy beans, hard milk-rice and many, many more ’delicacies’ from her kitchen!

But then, after a short hysterical spell of screaming, she would certainly have calmed down and understood that such a balancing only made sense if it was carried out with the highest possible degree of honesty.

And if on this ’dinner table of life achievements’ space would have become really scarce – since perhaps Conny and Corni, too, would have bashfully added their ’failure packets’ – then he, the ’Colonel’ would certainly have been quite willing to place his ’palette of successes’ underneath the table. After all, there was plenty of space and Conny and Corni would have had an ideal opportunity to learn in a very pedagogic way how the German proverb ’modesty is a virtue’ can be both strikingly demonstrated and lived in practice! And they would have experienced themselves what our Federal Chancellor had recently said when she had talked about ’our values giving us a sense of feeling at home’…

Initially, he had actually believed that this kind of ’life balance sheet’ might well also have been written as an ’interim balance’ focussing on special phases in life. For instance, even as early as on his fiftieth birthday, such a balance could have been written – especially if you looked at his unparalleled career!

But unfortunately, at the time, his well-loved Cornelia had run amok and had, out of the blue, demanded a divorce. Just because, again, she had made an elephant out of a mosquito, this time named Marianne! Mind you, it had been Cornelia herself who had introduced this Marianne to the family. Against the wishes of the ’Colonel ’!

My God, how she had idolized the much younger Marianne! The two were inseparable! And every shopping tour with her had been celebrated like a glimpse of paradise. Cornelia could and would simply not see that the golden Marianne was bringing nothing but discord into the harmonious Vatter family.

Actually, at the time, he, the ’Colonel ’ himself, had to get active and show her once and for all where the limits were that she could not trespass. However, she needed to be shown those limits all the time. It had been really bad – there were days when – hard to believe though it might be – she needed three limits in a row!

Eventually, the ’Colonel ’ had been more than happy when Cornelia finally saw that this Marianne person had to leave. And instantly! However, the idea Cornelia – in some sort of somnambulant shock – had come up with that they needed a divorce, was quite over the top and called for medical treatment. Of course, the ’Colonel’ was more than considerate and thus, to make matters bearable for her, refrained from the aforementioned first ’interim life balance report’ when he turned fifty: After all, among the ’negative assets’, one would have had to write Cornelia’s less than beautiful desire to get a divorce, while, at the time, he would have had to write his advance into the concern management among the ’positive assets’. That would have been the only way for such a documentation to make sense, rather than just becoming a stale re-interpretation of the truth.

But, naturally, he did not want to thus punish Cornelia! She was desperate enough as it was!

The children, too, had been against the idea. Well, they hardly had anything noteworthy to report under ’positive assets’, which would have meant he alone would have appeared there …

No – it had really been quite a good idea at the time from which all parties concerned benefited to refrain from this first ’partial life balancing’. After all, for him, a ’Colonel’ such an omission was definitely bearable!

Following the logic at the time, another chance for an ’interim balancing’ would have been when he had turned sixty! In fact, he had been quite prepared to do so and had already collected and listed loads of material. But then this excruciating data theft became fashionable, where illegally gained information about diverse Swiss accounts had been offered to the German finance system. Since ancient times, the entire world had parked their dirty money on these accounts. And suddenly, everybody who owned perhaps a million or two more was called a tax fraud – and worse!

Naturally, the ’Colonel ’ had to be the shining model for his children Conny and Corni and, by being one of the first who reported himself to the authorities, demonstrate to them that tax fraud was just something you did not do! And that, if your slate was clean, you never had to be afraid that the legal authorities who suddenly started to move all over the place might come after you.

However, when suddenly, one week before his birthday, the finance authority officers had invited themselves for a kind of ’pre-birthday-party’, his much-loved Cornelia opined that, this one time, it was probably a good idea to limit the celebration to the immediate family. Since her nerves were already very tightly strung, the ’Colonel’, naturally, agreed without hesitation. When expressing his gratitude in a few words, he refrained from even the slightest hint at a ’life balancing’. With his tendency towards honesty and unadorned truth, such behaviour would only have stirred up unwelcome dust from his environment. Not to mention the immense problems that the very fragile health of his extremely old mother and his even older father would have caused. Neither of them had long survived the subsequent debacle of the European Financial World – they had each lost too much money …

But now, on his seventieth birthday – the ’life balancing’ was finally going to happen!

At least a short version thereof!

All that would have been inconvenient had now more or less been omitted or made itself obsolete: for instance Cornelia, who, five years ago, had separated from her ’Colonel’ and was now living in Belgium with a musician. Allegedly, Conny was doing well with her family in the USA and Corni was in an important bank director in England.

Well, the problem was actually that now, although nobody was in his way, there was also nobody he could have told about his grandiose successes. Except the two drunken nephews and the cross-eyed cousin he had not talked to in thirty years! And, of course, Marianne, with whom he had now lived for six years, because she had never given up her habit of breaking down all obstacles that blocked her path!

Marianne, however, although she was a wonderfully attractive lady, had not the slightest bit of understanding for his, as she called it, almost ’sickly chronic self-indulgence’: on the contrary, she herself wanted to be admired! And all those silly memories from the past were things she certainly could not have cared less about!
But if he, the ’Colonel’ felt that he needed to give a life balancing, then why did he not himself write down his great life achievement. Quasi as a last will for the entire Vatter family. And now he also had time, didn’t he?

With these words, she pressed a brand-new, lockable, leather-bound note book into the hands of her ’Colonel ’ – hands that were overflowing with age spots. She added a quick kiss on the dried-up wrinkles of a forehead that already reached to the nape of his neck.

If, however, this was too much of an effort for him, whispered Marianne, then he could feel free to tell his entire life balancing story to Inge the cleaning lady who, as always, was going to care well for him: since she turned off her hearing aid most of the time anyway, it was a good idea to tell her about his great life on a daily basis –and in the process, he could include all his small, big and even bigger indecencies in detail! Wasn’t this a great way to spend the day for a man in his prime! And – without catching air – she happily told him that now, in a real hurry, she had to be on her way to the airport, since she was flying to the Algarve with their daughter Carola to play golf! Even from the already open door, she managed to send an entire salve of the hottest kisses towards her ’Colonel ’ …

(Translated by EG)

Hans Bonfigt
Thursday May 11th, 2017

Entartete Kunst

Sorry, this entry is only available in German.

Roland Dürre
Thursday March 2nd, 2017

My Friend, the Marten.

My Friend is Back!


Ermine (Mustela erminea) in summer pelt.

I have been driving cars since I was eighteen. And through all those many years, I had one arch-enemy: the legally protected marten.

Countless numbers of times, I wanted to start my car – and it did not start. Because that animal had bitten through a wire.

As the years went by, I spent quite a lot of money on the repairs. And there were also many things I tried in order to prevent it from happening! Every evening, I put a grate underneath the car (and in the morning, I had to remove it again). I tried quite a few voodoo methods, which were just as useless as high-tech in the form of small ultrasonic devices in the car. I truly tried everything in order to keep my enemy away from my car.

Here you can see a stone marten. Whereas the picture above shows a weasel, who also belongs to the marten family.

Now I finally won the battle. I no longer own a car. And that saves me a lot of money. And besides, I no longer have the problem that I despair in the morning because my car does not start.

Once in a while, I have a flat tyre when I want to climb my bike. That is not a problem, because I can easily take another bike. After all, I have several. And whenever I have a puncture, it is not because of the marten. Mostly, it is because of a glass splinter or a sharp piece of split or some small piece of metal.

Consequently, I made peace with the marten. At least that is what I thought!

And what happened yesterday? In the morning, my heating system notified me that my solar water warming panels are defunct. The mechanic said the damage is not covered by the maintenance contract because it was caused by a marten. He said this kind of thing happens quite often. And I had to pay.

Well, he is back …

I took both pictures from Wikipedia.
The beautiful picture of the weasel (top) is from the central media archive Wikimedia Commons. Copyright is with James Lindsey, the source is
The stone marten image (Martes foina) is by Atirador.

Hans Bonfigt
Thursday February 16th, 2017

(Deutsch) Zum Abgrund hin mit Lin und Win …

Sorry, this entry is only available in German.

Roland Dürre
Tuesday December 6th, 2016

Soon, I will be electing a Federal Chancellor …

Not true, because basically, I only vote for a party …

Hier mit Klaus Hofeditz bei der Strategie Klausur 2016 von in Berlin.

Yours truly with Klaus Hofeditz during the strategy meeting 2016 at the Berlin

… who then, along with others, will decide about the Federal Chancellors. And maybe then the top candidate of the party that got most of the votes will also become Federal Chancellor. But that is not necessarily a foregone conclusion.

For next year’s federal elections, there is a shimmer of hope for my super-ego  #Dumusstwählen. Because my super ego says I, as a person who believes in democracy, have to vote. Yet my conscience forbids me to give my vote to any of the “normal” parties. Consequently, I have a dilemma.

But there is hope: Serdar Somuncu will be a candidate for “die PARTEI”. I looked for information that might tell me if he is a valid alternative. And that gave me the idea of running for the Federal Chancellor candidacy myself.

After all, if I become a candidate, then I will definitely know whom to give my vote. Let me be cynical: it is not all that difficult to become Federal Chancellor. It is probably easier than it has ever been before. After all, Trump, too, managed to become president. And populism is something I am quite good at. Better than some might believe.

But then, at my age (66), I do not at all feel like burdening myself with all the things that a candidacy would involve. And the almost senile candidates, all of whom pretend to be young (not just in the US election campaigns) are really something I abhor.


There will not be a Federal Chancellor Roland Dürre. But perhaps Serdar Somuncu? At least, he likes Woody Allen and Bert Brecht. That means he cannot be all that bad, doesn’t it? Nor do I mind him being Turkish. I rather like people with other cultural backgrounds.

Most likely, he is better qualified for Federal Chancellor than I. After all, I have too much “morbid joy when perverse systems die”.