Roland Dürre
Sunday January 22nd, 2012

The Final Rescue of the Gipsy Countries …

Well, it is time for “Sunday Nonsense”!

But it is evil-spirited nonsense.

A short time ago, someone reported that Greece has the highest “tank density“ in Europe. I do not  know if that is correct, but let us assume it is. After all, it is not altogether beyond imagining, is it?

If I were asked for a definition of a country‘s tank density, my answer would be: 
“the sum of the weight of all tanks in a country devided by the population of said country”.
Following the same logic, you could also define a U Boat Density (sum of the gross ton of all U boats in a country devided by …) or the Mine Density (weight of the mine arsenal of a country devided by…) and so on.

Would it then not be an alternative to confiscate all the Greek fighter bombers, tanks, U boats, mines and other war toys, instead of terrorising Greece with proposals on how to economize?

And then, if the evil Nato Turks come to invade Greece, we could send the German Armed Forces to defend them. Since we have such a high credit rating, we can continue paying our Armed Forces. If necessary with borrowed money.

The idea might arise that the same procedure might also be applicable with other gipsy countries. Devoid of their military forces, the Gipsy countries would get rid of their debts far sooner.

Such a procedure would also be in total accordance with our German prejudice about soldiers in East European countries not being the best of fighters – which is why I rather like them. After all, didn’t we witness how the Germans in the end had to do the job, for instance during WW-II, after, the Italians had made a mess of it?

Defending the Italians, Portuguese and Spaniards against Tunesia, Libya and Morokko would certainly be something the combination of Armée de l’air & Luftwaffe could manage. Perhaps the left wings of the planes should say Merkozy and the right wings Sarkel. Of course, this is all nonsense.

But then – at this time I could almost imagine some politicians taking this nonsense serious and considering it a threat to their weapons industry lobbyists. And they would reply in anticipatory obedience that such a proposal cannot be realized. After all, we have to preserve jobs. And that is something armament is good enough for.

I am sure we could convince the Minister of the Interiour for these kinds of ideas. Because if we could get the “guest workers” (what a word) from Italy, Greece, Portugal, Spain and particularly Turkey out of the problem areas and integrate them (another one of those words) into the Armed Forces, all problems would be solved, wouldn’t they?

Now I suddenly remember that the Greeks would then no longer be able to secure the newly discovered crude oil in the critical stretches of water between Turkey and Greece. Is this the early k.o. criterion and thus the termination of my ingenious plan?

But as I said – it is all nonsense. These ideas are so stupid that I would actually put them past even our Euro Rescue Cabinet in Berlin.

I almost wrote something like horror chamber. But I will not, because you just do not do this kind of thing. It is bad manners making something small you know nothing about. Besides, it is not fair. In fact, I sincerely believe that those up there do their jobs as well as they can. After all, they are all also just human, aren’t they? Except it happens more and more often that I am really disappointed.

(Translated by EG)

For Bavaria, however, there is hope. We have our Seehofer, who will show them “wo der Bartl den Most holt“ and cut down the burden-sharing. Because if Germany in the end will perhaps even have to rescue France, then the Bavarians will have to save Germany, along with all of Europe. And that is something not even His August Majesty Seehofer can do.

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