Roland Dürre
Sunday August 15th, 2010

Sloganisms

Not so far in the past, there were no cars. Coaches had to squeeze through the narrow streets of our cities. But also the overland streets were nothing but narrow paths. The elegant people sat in the coach, the coachman on the box. Common people went places on foot along the same streets. Sometimes the streets were really narrow, often jammed with people and animals.

The noble ladies and gentlemen were in a hurry. They felt they could not wait until the plebs went out of the way. That is why the coachmen on the box had a long whip. Its main purpose was not to motivate the horses. Rather, the brutal coachmen used their whips for getting the masses out of the way and making passage for the coach easier. Consequently, humans and animals that had been in the way often found themselves “ornamented” by welts and thinking: “Why blow one’s top?” and not blowing their tops.

According to the will of the lord of the manor, the general motto was “lead through the whip“. And the whips happily sounded like: “We clear the way for you”.

In these late (or soon post) automobile times, the (mostly male) population is seduced in another way:
“Lead Through Technology” and “Each Mile is a Mile of Safety and Delight”.

Or:

“Delight in Driving” – “For Love of Your Automobile” – “Ahead of the Times at All Times”–  Good Guidance on All Your Ways”- “The Future of Automobiles” – “Think Ahead” – “The Best or Nothing” – “Success = Knowledge Raised to the Power of Passion” – “Driving At Its Best”.– “Will Also Drive Bends” – “Will Make You Feel Like on Tracks” – “Cars For Life” – “Arrive Better” – “It Runs, and Runs, and Runs, and Runs…” – “Certainly More Joy And Safety” – “Nothing is Impossible” – “Cannot be Explained With Rationality Alone” – “Optimum Power Distribution on Changing Underground” – “Pack the Tiger Into the Reservoir!” – “Quality That Moves” – “We Live Cars”.

This is how you successfully sell expensive cars to an ignoramus in our “the word impossible does not exist” world.

My personal slogans for the driver are different:

“Uups, Here I Am” – “Free Passage For Free Citizens” – “Regardless of the Consequences” – “No Matter What the Cost” – and “Let Us Continue, Even If It Kills Us All”.

So maybe you had better concentrate on something other than “The Legs of Your Car”. And do not think evil thoughts if you still see the former “Lufthansa” advert somewhere: “Fliegen in der Luft, Vögeln gleich“. It is all just “For the Best in Men”. Meaning the money they want to make you part with.

🙂 “All Müller, or what?

I hope “The Green Bond of Sympathy” will bind you to the IF blog. Because “Yours Will Be Helped There”. And IF blog is free. You know: “Stinginess is Horny”.

RMD
(Translated by EG)

P.S
.
For these and more slogans, see the following link in Wikiquote! I took the picture from the central media archive Wikimedia Commons. It shows a postal coach on the “Gotthardpass “(2004) and was taken by Roland Zumbühl, Arlesheim. Many, many thanks!

P.S.1
Sloganism is an artificial word. We learned at school that we should be cautious whenever something ends on “… ism”. Since I “handle” slogans “with care”, I transcribed it into sloganism!

P.S.2
Here is an InterFace slogan!

And there used to be the seductive line:

Productivity – designed for you!

I still think it is not so bad!

Kommentar verfassen

*