Here is a little cynicism on the certifying mania. But who knows – maybe you can actually make a lot of money by this nonsense? After all, in this strange world of ours everything is possible. But first and foremost: here is the basic question.
What is the most important quality needed if you want to work and lead people in social systems with responsibility?
As I see it, candidate number one for “higher tasks” is the attribute “being human”. Along with many special qualities.
If you see it under this aspect, the first criterion for selecting someone for a demanding job is human quality. Now would it not be handy to have a certificate that proves such a competence without any doubt? Just imagine how much time could be saved when you have to interview candidates!
So why not certify “being human”? Dependent on the standard I need for any open position, I could define what level of humanity I need. Does it have to be class A? Or maybe class B or C will suffice for a particular job?
Consequently, we should now constitute an “Association for Being Human” (ABH). And then we can certify humans. With multiple-choice tests. For the higher levels, we have to add some intensive questioning. The person to be certified will have to write an essay with pen or pencil. On values or some such thing. And for the really high level, the entire affair will also contain an assessment! Because it definitely has to cost something for a person to become a certified human. And if someone pays, they are entitled to get something in return!
The current lamentable situation in politics and management can also be solved by using certified humans. Because we will demand level A for the key positions in our administration and society! If you want to be Federal Chancellor, you will definitely have to be an A+ or AAA!
And the system can be extended to our heart’s content. Only people with a valid mother/father certificate can have children. And since we are at it, why not develop a “grand-parental” certificate, as well?
In order to get a grip on the volatility of modern marriages, we use a “partnership certificate”. It will evaluate your potential to deal with conflict and also issue a “health and marriage licence“. For those with lower qualifications, the only alternative is the temporary marriage. It includes a fee coupon. Now wouldn’t that solve so many problems? And after five years, you have to renew the certificate – if you proved a success, you can have an extension of the marriage.
If, however, you want to found a company, you have to get an entrepreneur’s licence in advance. Dependent on the goals of the business plan, there will be all varieties of certification levels.
Maybe you could even certify “being Christian”? Or perhaps, even better, create a new religion – of course it would have to have strictly certified members who were recruited in different castes?
Brave new world.
I think modern certification habits are a mania without making any sense at all – in other words, they are madness.
RMD
(Translated by EG)
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