Germany should be cautious when trying to give good advice on democracy and freedom! In this country, significant minorities are totally unprotected and talking about them is not without danger. Here is a particularly drastic case …
She: Of course, it is not easy to live with Hubert; but on the other hand, you cannot wilfully choose – where love goes…
He: And are you really totally in love with him?
She: Yes, absolutely, with every fibre of my body – Hubert is just fantastic!
He: So why is it not easy with him?
She: Not easy? Well – there are his instability and disquiet? Hubert is one huge, vibrating bundle of nerves with immense dynamics: he always moves! And after midnight, he is practically dead to the world until morning…
He: Have you consented to this?
She: Who talks consented? He simply disappears! After all, night is his time, you cannot take it away from him. It is when he really lives – it is when he goes after the blood …
He: What do you mean, after the blood?
She: Well, that is what he thrives on, isn’t it? Now don’t pretend you never heard about it.…
He: Well, yes, I heard about it, but does it really happen…?
She: Of course! Basically, that is where all the problems start! You cannot imagine how hard it is to get the bloody spots out of the white shirts Hubert wears at night. There simply is no washing powder with which you can get blood out of shirts using just your common washing procedure! I already asked thousands of people and in drugstores – there simply is no such washing powder! In fact, most of the people look at me like I come from the moon whenever I ask the question…
He: But why are there any bloody spots at all…?
She: How naive you are! Do you know how hard it is for Hubert to get near his – as he calls them: – objects? Ever since we had the aids problem, people act downright hysterical. They are so prickly and aggressive these days! It is unbelievable, really! Sometimes they fight for hours – before Hubert can bite… It is nowhere near as easy as you think…
And if people make such a fuss, then it is only to be expected that sometimes you get a few drops on your collar or on your shirtfront… He often comes back home totally exhausted, because some of those youngsters behave so foolishly…
He: Does he return home on foot?
She: Of course, what do you think? Do you expect him to come flying through the chimney? What an attractive notion! If he could, he would not have to be so careful about trying not to meet anybody on the stairs when he comes home with a bloody shirt front. People in the house are so gossipy, you know…
He: Do you feel discriminated against? Ostracized?
She: In a way, yes. Unfortunately, I have to say so. After all, there is no way Hubert can defend himself; he has no media-intensive lobby behind him. Now, if he were homosexual or if he had a migration background or if he were a Bernhard’s dog, then he could insist on his rights. But as it is, he is practically beyond help and constantly subjected to animosities and rude remarks…
He: And at work?
She: His situation is also difficult! He must not “out” himself – as they say today. He can never make friends with colleagues …
He: Where does he work?
She: I am sure you, too, know the company! Let me whisper it in your ear! Everybody knows it…
He: But that is a sausage production firm? Doesn’t it belong to this very famous, former…?
She: As I said, everybody knows it!
He: And what sort of job does your Hubert – I hope that is how I may call him – hold?
She: He used to be fully integrated at productions, which he truly loved. But recently, he was promoted. Now he earns more, but the downer for him is that he has to sit behind the desk a lot …
He: And what exactly is he doing behind his desk?
She: He is boss of reception…
He: For the entire enterprise?
She: Well, no. But he is in charge of the entire blood sausage section …
He: Well, it fits, doesn’t it …?
She: Now you see: you are doing it yourself …
He: Doing what?
She: Well, your derogatory remark: “it fits, doesn’t it?”
He: Excuse me…
She: As I said, if Hubert were homosexual or Roma, you would certainly not have made this kind of remark. But, of course, he being he, you can get away with it!
He: I beg your pardon, I am truly sorry. That was really thoughtless of me …
She: You see, Hubert even graduated from high school – if you allow me to tell you! And he has an IQ that is unheard of with “bleeders”! But nobody ever says anything derogatory about bleeders, although their blood is really abominable and totally unpalatable for us …
He: Who “us”?
She: Well, Hubert and myself…
He: What! You, too?
She: Of course! Why do you think I told you we can have this interview at midnight? And the lonely chapel is not really a common meeting point, is it? …
He: Oh my God. Are you aware of the fact that, this time, I wanted to give full support to your rights in the “Sunday Post” and demand a more adequate protection for your endangered minority and …
She: What a pity! But your light, beard-free oldies-neck is really too tempting. I never bit into something so wobbly. I am sure you understand… And, please, not to move. I do not want to spoil my last white blouse….
HN
(Translated by EG)
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