Carl and Gerlinde (VIII)
When Carl returned from work in a rather good mood, Gerlinde surprised him with delicious, crispy Schnitzel and here legendary potato salad!
Nobody can make it as well as she. It must be a secret recipe handed down from her mother – may she rest in peace! Anyway, besides a good pinch of sugar, the marinade also contained mustard and nutmeg. And the onions had been boiled for a short time in real beef broth, before they had been mixed among the still warm, freshly cut potatoes…. that much Carl knew! But no more! But he certainly did not mind not knowing more, since he preferred focussing on the consumption of this delicacy…
When he asked her what happy event this festive dinner was supposed to be in celebration of tonight, Gerlinde strangely never answered. Instead, she got busy laying the table. Using spring napkins, fresh primroses and new red wine glasses!
His second question was also ignored. She busied herself washing up the pan and pot…
When he asked for the third time, taking her into his arms among laughter and nibbling at her deliciously potato-salady lips, she blushed purple, turned her head away and quickly escaped from his embrace. …
Now Carl was really curious. He was not going to remain ignorant on this one!
Again, he reached for her, held her against him and, still with a laugh, asked her if she really wanted to leave him ignorant about the reason for this surprise festive dinner?
“Yes“, she said, “because you will only laugh at me”.
“Now, Gerlinde, what do you mean, laugh at you?“
´”Yes, I am sure you will laugh at me, because it really is laughable and embarrassing. But for me, it isn’t.…“
“Gerlinde, even if it is embarrassing for you, I would still like to know the reason. You know I am a little sensitive as far as surprise festive dinners are concerned. As you know, the last surprise festive dinner I had was before my dear wife Inge left me just as surprisingly…“
“Yes, Carl, I know how Inge played out the drama at the time. After all, you told me often enough and you never forgot to pity yourself! “
“Well, it was not nice, was it? “
“Oh, I believe you. But fear thee not; this is not what today is about!
On the other hand – on second thought” she suddenly said with a surprising amount of composure and almost cheerily, “in a way it is about something like saying good-bye and a loss…“
“Now you are really making it sound exciting …“
“Perhaps? But that is not what I want! “
“Then why don’t you just say what it is all about? “
“Carl – I feel uncomfortable telling it…“
“Did someone die? “
“Yes! “
“Your Grandmother? “
“Don’t be stupid. She died a long time ago …“
“Then who? “
“No relation of ours! “
“But? “
“Hm…“
“You hesitate?“
„”Yes, because it is so obnoxious! “
“Please, Gerlinde – who is it?“
“Knut…“
“Knut! Is that one of your Norwegian relatives?“
“Stupid – I mean the Knut – from Berlin …“
“From where in Berlin? “
“At the zoo – you asshole …“
“Why am I an asshole?“
“Because you are pretending such stupidity …“
“Me? “
“Don’t tell me you do not know Knut?“
“Of course, I know Knut”, said Carl with little conviction.
“Just imagine”, Gerlinde suddenly said with wide open eyes and very seriously, “yesterday, he started turning around on his rock in his enclosure and fell into the water totally out of the blue…“
“And?“
“And he drowned there in the most pitiable way …“
“Oh, Gerlinde, I am truly sorry!“
“You will not believe how sorry I am. I wept like a dog”, said Gerinde. Another tear was already running down her bite-proof cheeks.
“It is really bad news”, said Carl. “But, you know, the Japanese Tsunami thing with the subsequent nuclear catastrophe is not nice, either …“
“Yes, but Knut never deserved such a cruel end”, moaned Gerlinde.
“No, but neither did the Japanese. They are now really in dire straits. I am just happy that I have not invested in this Tepco, or what was the name of the company?.…“
“Yes, Carl. But Knut, this cute ice-bear, he really had eyes to drown in…“
“Gerlinde, I believe you. But aren’t we lucky that I always liked your Schnitzel a lot better than those strange sushi. They are now all contaminated by radioactivity …“
“Carl, now listen. Knut never deserved to have such a short life; each day, people stood in the line trying to get a close look at him – both on weekdays and holidays “!
“Gerlinde, he should be happy to be dead, instead of getting radioactively contaminated… “, Carl started getting a little worried and reached for the last bottle of beer.
“You might be right, you know. I feel like I wish to weep day and night, Carl!
It wasn’t Knut’s fault, you know. Why did he have to die? Do you think that is fair? I think not! The newspapers are also full with pictures of him. Everybody is moved and nobody can understand that Knut is no more …“
“That reminds me, Gerlinde. Apropos pictures. Didn’t I mention last week that I wanted to buy that Japanese camera – that special bargain? Why did stupid me not do it last week? Now it might be too late – radioactively contaminated…“
“The way Knut always looks into the camera on those pictures and how he moves so clumsily. You really would have liked to eat him neck and crop!
And now he is dead!
Well, you know, Carl. I just thought a death should not just be ignored! It would not feel right! And, thinking of him, I prepared this nice dinner tonight“!
“My Gerlinde, how touching you are. You really have a noble heart”, said Carl and quickly went for the last Schnitzel, since Gerlinde turned away to do some noisy nose-blowing!
The potato salad was finished already – as always: not enough!
When the last bottle of beer was also empty, Carl embraced his Gerlinde regardless, thanking her with a wet beer-kiss on the forehead for this wonderful, sentimental dinner of Schnitzel…
Knut would also have liked it …
KH
(Translated by EG)
PS:
Beware: on April, 21st, 2011, Carl and Gerlinde will be back on the blog!
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